If I were to look at your life, what would I see? What would each day look like?
If I had to guess, it would be one of two things. First, it could be an inconsistent rhythm. Some days you hit snooze fifteen times, some days you’re motivated to change the world. Your diet is dependent on your mood, and your exercise habits are few and far between. After all, who has time for that with a full-time workload or classes?
The second way it could go is that you actually live a very consistent life. You wake up at the same time every day, you have your coffee, work out, try to eat right, and live in a relatively clean environment. You go to work and come home – doing the same thing all over again tomorrow.
The problem with the first lifestyle is that you will find it hard to see growth. Discipline and consistency over time are important for growth in every area of life.
The problem with the second lifestyle is that after a certain period, you stop pursuing growth because the routine becomes comfortable and you stop challenging yourself.
I am confident in guessing that every person has thought to themself at one point or another, “I’ve tried so many things. What can I do that will TRULY make me stand out?”
Related Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear
Here are 3 habits that will change your life… and they are rarely talked about.
- Ask a stupid amount of questions.
Whether you like it or not, you interact with a lot of people on a daily basis. Life consists of dealing with people.
In conversation, the best topic to talk about is yourself. It comes easy, you know a lot about it, and you spend most of your time thinking about yourself anyways.
However, if you really want to connect with someone on a deep level they must know that you care about them. What better way to show them you do than to ask them questions?
How can questions actually change your life though? I challenge you to try it out. Ask 4 times the amount of questions than statements you give. Answer questions with another question (just for a trial period) and see how people open up to you.
If you need help thinking of questions to ask, I might suggest looking at a list and memorizing some good conversation starters. Keep in mind, though, that listening to their answers is the most important part of this.
You will not connect with people if you are only listening long enough to think of your next question.
People love to talk about themselves and the things they are passionate about. Take time in conversations to really get to know someone below the surface-level questions. Implement this habit, and your relationships will dramatically change. People will start to invest back into you.
- Give an uncomfortable amount of encouragement each day.
Encouragement is what keeps people going. It’s why it exists!
Marathon runners have crowds lined up to cheer them on. Professional athletes have fans and supporters that follow them closely (although, they also have people that shout discouragement, but that’s a topic for another time). At the end of a musical play, the audience (hopefully) will clap in support of the great production.
You need encouragement. If no one has told you today that you matter and that there are people in this world that care deeply about you – let me be the first. You have a purpose, and it is important that you’re reminded of that.
Being an encouraging person is a CHOICE, one that is made by you. Choose to make this a habit.
Craig Groeschel, a pastor and author, says that you should think about how much encouragement you assume that you should give… and DOUBLE it. Take that level of encouragement and then double it AGAIN. Even that might not be enough.
Giving this level of encouragement is very uncomfortable, especially if you are handing it out all the time to everyone you meet.
I promise you, though, that if you implement the two habits of asking questions and giving encouragement, your whole world will change.
In time, I can confidently say that more opportunities will open up for you, you will find yourself in community, and people will be reaching out for support. Your life will change for the better.
- Learn something new every day.
Leaders are learners, and I know that you are a leader.
Related Book: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell
Whether you feel like one right now or not – you are. It is never too late to start leading. Learning also doesn’t stop after you graduate from school.
There is always something new coming out that you can learn. There are unlimited amounts of books to read, podcasts to listen to, or videos to watch.
There are people to learn from as well, leaders who are more experienced and further along than you are.
Learn something new. This doesn’t even need to take any extra time! One of the biggest excuses I hear about people learning things is that they are just too busy. Trust me, I get it.
You can listen to a podcast while you work out. You can listen to an audiobook on your commute to work. You can watch a youtube video while you cook dinner. You can wake up 15 minutes earlier to read 10 pages of a leadership book.
You have time and resources – but it is your systems that fail you. If you are not learning, it is because you have not implemented the habit of doing so.
If you begin to learn something new, no matter what it is, your life will change slowly but surely and over time you will become a more well-rounded person.
Habits are the powerhouse to change. If you are not comfortable with where you are in life, look at your habits.
I ask again – if I were to look at your life, what would I see?
Would you like what I see? Are there things you would want to be different?
If there are, don’t panic! Habits can start small and continue to blossom over time. You can change your habits, and habits can change your life. Get started today with these three that I mentioned above.
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